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It would have been a tea break at the office, but now it's a cum break – like to know how that goes after next month!Yes, she tried other punctuation, the tilde, the question mark, and even some letters (the ‘y’ being the best apparently) but she always came back to me. I blame that fucking bread knife for cutting her fingers that time.The use of me in her written work has also fallen to new depths. Before I was used occasionally then added after the fact, now even that does not happen as the whole bundle of words is zapped into a software programme called Grammarly and it does the work for her. For fuck's sake what sort of name is that? It should be ‘I am a lazy fuckwit who should not be allowed a keyboard’ ly.Anyway, rant over. My problem started last Thursday. It had been a typically quiet day around here. The sun popped out, the robin sat on the wooden garden fence and shat as usual, and her ladyship sat and did some work. Me, I was fast asleep until 3 o'clock, and then I was. Agar ye seekhna hai. Toh pehla rule, kapde kam se kam pehen kyunki kisi ke paas time nahin hota hai dopahar mein. Raat ki baat alag hai. Dekh maine sirf ye chaadar pehni hai. Baaki aur kuch bhi nahin.”Aunty ne chaddar hataa ke apne makhmali aur mast shareer ko mujhe dikhaaya. Mujhe thodi sharam bhi aayi. Par aunty sahi bhi bol rahi thi. Kam se kam aise woh kapde pehenne aur utaarne ka time bhi bacha sakti hain. Aur saath hi mein jald se jald kaam pe bhi seedha aa sakti hain.Par unke mast sharer aur chamchamaati bina baal ki choot ko dekh ke mann toh aisa kar raha tha ki wahin aunty ke saath chaalu ho jaun. Par mujhe nahin pata tha ki aunty kya sochengi. So maine ye karna theek nahin samjha. Aunty ne wapas chaddar theek se lapetti hui mujhse poochi, “Kamai theek hui?”Kamai ke maamle mein bahut hi santusht thi. Balki thodi khush thi ki mujhe mere kaam ke pehle paise mile hain. “Haan aunty. Ekdum mast. Main isse woh naye waale tops soch rahi hoon lene kaa. Aur woh jeans bhi jo…”Aunty.
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